The price of smoking is pretty ridiculous. Without all the taxes, a carton of smokes would cost you about $14.50. Buck forty-five a pack. So, how to adapt in a world driven by people who want your cash?Last week I bought my first carton of smokes across the river. I paid more than I would have in Oregon, but here's the kicker...
After a week of smoking Washington cigarettes, that annoying "hack" cough is gone. Washington smokes don't have the "self-extinguishing" chemicals in them that cigarettes in Oregon must have--by law. Of course I'm going to die in a house fire. But from what I understand about house fires, that method is preferable to the terror you'd undergo seconds from colliding with a tractor-trailer at 60 miles an hour.
And, until I die from burning down my house, I won't have that disgusting "hack" cough from "safe" cigarettes. I'm still going to be a burden on the health-care system in Oregon. (How is it again that I'm going to be a health-care system burden?) But, until that day--or night--that I succumb to smoke-inhalation, I'm smoking better cigarettes.
Overall a win/win. I don't hack, and Oregon gets stuck with the bill. (How does that happen, exactly?)
Anyway, some good news on the common sense front. Representatives Bruce Hanna and Tim Freeman have offered a bill to remove the ethanol mandate for premium grades of gasoline. Which is brilliant.
Before the ethanol mandate I always purchased premium gasoline. And a tank of gas would move my iron down the highway for 350 miles before I needed to fill-up. That meant that I could leave the house, head to Corvallis, do a little "dad" stuff--you must feed the beast--and then head home. Without having to stop for gas.
After the State--the Governor and the Democrats in the Oregon Legislature--mandated that I could only buy ethanol gasoline I can now only travel 300 miles. So I get 6/7ths of a tank of 9/10ths gasoline.
Which is bigger? 1/7th or 1/10th?
Let me put it this way: if you were really hungy, would you rather have 1/7th of your wife's seafood casserole, or 1/10th?
When the denominator is a smaller number, the portions are larger. Think of pies, one cut into seven pieces, one cut into ten pieces. Which pie has the larger pieces?
So, for more than a year I've been buying more gas, just as gas, not counting the alcohol I've also purchased at the same time, than I did before the mandate. Which was passed to reduce gasoline consumption.
And these Greeniacs in Salem seem to be oblivious to the fact that ethanol produces more "greenhouse gas" than good old gasoline.
What an example of epic fail. Oh. By the way...
If you're heading over to Washington to buy some smokes--to avoid the hack?--you can pick up real gasoline at the Chinook Store. So if you're buying what I buy, a carton of smokes a week and a tank of gas a week, you actually come out on top. Real supreme grade gas, real smokes.
I suppose some day the state will put up an agricultural inspection station at the south end of the Megler Bridge to stop the importation of decent cigarettes and gas. For now, the trip is a reason to get out of the house a little bit, mebbe have a beer in Ilwaco.
Tip to Oregon drivers: the reason Washington drivers drive so slowly when they visit is that the WSP is quick to take umbrage at speeds exceeding that which has been posted. When in Rome, observe the speed limit. They don't have a sense of humour.
Enjoy your Washington daytrip.
