Oregonians in Space!

Normally, you can discern the cartoon from the real. Not so much in Oregon. Enter Oregon's own "Zap" Kulongoski.

Global issues are his. Sitting aperch the throne of the Oregon Empire's 3 point 5 million citizens, the mighty Zapster is handing out policies and taking positions. It won't be long before We, as Oregonians are sending Mandates to the Galaxy!

Soon after the Oregon Space Fleet is inaugurated Commander Kulongoski will be able to take his policies and plans to the far reaches of outer space!

Take another look at the "Zapster's" New Energy Plan.

In the first graph comes this, " The skyrocketing prices of gasoline, diesel, and other forms of energy hamper Oregon’s economic recovery. " Agreed.

Here's the Triple A's latest on gasonline in Oregon. "Up, up, and up. Oregon average price up 17-cents in a week. Forecast is that price increases should slow for remainder of the month and remain flat at least until midsummer. We'll have to wait to see."¹

Yeah, well we'll wait. But who needs to see.

Here's the Zapster's Plan.

Step A: "Governor Kulongoski has committed to helping Oregon achieve real energy independence." (This is from his website. I'm not making this up. Drop dead USA! Washington! Idaho! We're going in alone!)

And not fake energy independence. Real independence. The only good kind.

Step 2: "This means keeping energy prices competitive over the long haul, reducing dependence on energy sources from overseas, and protecting Oregonians from expected spikes in the prices of fossil fuels." So maybe building a coal-fired electrical generating plant? Hmm? No! Coal is from Montana, and who knows how long our relations will remain friendly with Montana.

Next step: "The Governor seeks to reduce emissions that lead to global warming." The man is a genius. And of course, this is where the Governor's Space Fleet will come in most handy. As soon as we're able to control Solar CR we'll be able to implement every Progressive Plan of

Tomorrow, today.

And Step Next!: "He also seeks to invest in clean energy and create new jobs; for every $100 million invested in clean energy, Oregon creates more than a thousand new jobs."

Every word in quotes above comes from teh Zapster's website. I can find no evidence of it being hacked and this wacky stuff being placed there without the Zapster's knowledge.

But you give me One Hundred Million Dollars and I'll getcha your Thousand Jobs.

Here's the opposition to Zap's energy plan, from Republican Chuck Burley. "Cleaner forms of energy are essential to reducing our dependence on foreign oil. By passing this bill, we in the state of Oregon have one more tool in our toolbox to achieve this goal".

Chuck!

Wake-up and smell the CO²!

Raising the cost of energy doesn't lead to reduced dependence on any other energy that's cheaper!

Reread the above quotation.

Ask yourself, how does having a bigger toolbox make things cheaper? And building the FlibberGibbett Gasket Tool for the 2049 Ford Rexausauras doesn't make sense, does it? What if, by the year 2049, FlibberGibbett gaskets are no longer used? You have an additional tool in your toolbox.

And Chuck's "the opposition"? No, he's found new friends. The Team at Onward Oregon. If it were me, I'dda added some exclamation points. Onward! Oregon!!! But what bugle call is OO trumpeting to show a commitment to lower energy costs?

"Onward Oregon members played a part in the recent decision by the PUC to reject PacificCorp's proposal to build two new coal fired power plants."²

That's right. Your power company wanted to build two new plants to give you more, cheap power. But the Zapster and his friends killed it.

Cheap, fungible energy. For jobs. For investment. For Oregon.

And so, Zap moves on.


¹Elliott Eki
AAA Oregon-Idaho
Public & Gov't. Affairs Director
(503) 222-6729
elliott.eki@aaaoregon.com

²the_team@onwardoregon.org